And there is home...right there

तुम

2007-05-04T05:46:00.000-07:00

तुम

बस आंखों ही आंखों मे
चुपचाप सी कुछ कहती तुम
हर सांस मे मेरा नाम लिये
हर सांस मे मेरी रहती तुम

तपती धरा पर बारिश कि पहली बूँद सी
सोंधी सी खुशबु लेकर तुम
सरदी कि निर्मल धुप सी प्यारी
गुनगुनी हंसी बिखराती तुम

चांद कि हलकी मधुरिमा मे
गेसुओं के गहरे साए सी तुम
फूल कि पंखुदी पर मानो
जमी ओस सी सकुचाई सी तुम

तुम्ही से आदि तुम्ही पर अंत
मेरे जीवन का सार हो तुम
इस क्षणभंगुर जीवन का मेरे
चट्टान सा आधार हो तुम

एक पलक भर देखने से ही
सर्वस्व अर्पण को तैयार हो तुम
इस ह्रदय मे मेरे प्रेम से बना
मेरी मृगनयनी मेरा संसार हो तुम

....

Till Life Do Us Part

2006-12-14T21:54:00.000-08:00

Till life do us part

Sorry Mr. Shakespeare….this is my story and I will tell it my way

the curtains are still…no air no breeze
its quiet all around
inside I mean

outside…is an explosion

screams, whispers, laughter and sobs
so many people
so many voices
they all talk

never listen…just talk

so many faces…lost
not in the crowd
but within….each one of them
scared and lost

don’t know where they come from
don’t know where to go
they just walk and talk and keep walking
till feet carry them no more

crackers, guns, rockets and bombs
cars, bikes, big planes….
scared

I stand here at the window
thinking….Remembering

it seems like yesterday
that I looked at you
that I just looked at you and sighed

all the chill gone out
warmth settled in
like a large rum on a November night
a big confession for a small sin

your eyes…oh those calm, quiet, whispering lakes
of warmth, love
those eyes…they haunt me still
your care, your love, your concern
still remember those nights of crooning
of loving….of playing dead to the whole world

the curtains are still…no air no breeze
its quiet all around…inside I mean

that soft touch of yours
told me…you were there…always
never let me be alone

those nights are playing again….
when you held me tight
you knew I was scared…you knew I needed you
you just knew…

it was fun...
by the river, on the beach
on that cliff….to be with you
to know you are there…always

we were happy…were....

the curtains are still…no air no breeze
its quiet all around…so very quiet

there you are…was looking for you
you look beautiful
serene and calm and beautiful
the sunlight softly caressing you hair
the light playing a kaleidoscope on your lips

you look beautiful when you sleep
I told you this a million times…I wish I hadn’t

the curtains are still…no air no breeze
its quiet all around…too quiet

want you to wake up now
want you to smile at me…
the way you did every morning
like the winter dew….fresh and lovely

want you to pull me, to hold me…
want you to tell me…that you love me
in that deep husky voice
want you to know I am there…always
want to hold you close to my heart
to hear your heart beat a million times…to listen to your breath
to wish we would define eternity this very moment

you are asleep…deep asleep
I know you wont wake up…even if I called you
I know you want to…I know you cant

I feel you every moment I stand here
I feel your pain
you want to come to me…I know
you want me to be with you…in eternal peace
you want to...you cant…I know

I am not crying…you would not like it…I know
not that I want to…
why should I?
you haven’t gone away…you are just there
across the door…waiting for me…as always

don’t worry…
listen....I said don’t worry…I love you
won’t let you go alone
I know your pain and your yearnings….I know…I am here now
it will be ok
it will be all over very soon…I know...for a new beginning

don’t you lose hope…I am here now
I come now… to you my love
to make you mine…forever

noting can take you away from me
no rain, no thunder, no storm
no man, no beast, nothing

let us go now my love
to make a new world, to fall in love…all over again
to see the flowers and the butterflies…to fly
let us go now darling….let us start
we will always be together now…nothing can take you away now

we will always be together now....till life do us part

..........

Abhijeet Basu

15th December 2006

Feedbacks

2006-12-07T01:57:00.000-08:00

This is a sincere request to all of you who read my blog and my works. Please write comments. Even if its a one liner, would be highly appreciated. If it is good, I would love it. If the comments are not good about my writings....I will be even happier as I will get a chance to improve. So please keep reading and please keep writing......

The Zombie Soldier

2006-12-04T23:18:00.000-08:00

he stood there…alone…tired
his breath heavy, his shoulders burning
the sword lay flat on the ground…the crimson ground

he looked around…for the first time in days
he looked around…when all was over

has saw faces
innocent, precarious, troublesome, bloody faces
he knew those people…or so he had thought

he had walked with them
taught them how to hold the sword
how to kill a man and how to survive
he had learnt from them….

he had lived their dreams
their aspirations
their pain
their agony
their newborns and their deaths
their fear and their jokes
he knew those people…or so he had thought

they were all over…
moaning, crying, writhing with pain…
the pain he had given…the pain they had deserved
the pain that sounded so good….when he had fought them…on this ground…the now crimson ground

he knew their kids…their wives...their homes
their generals were his best friends…or so he had thought
he knew these people….or probably not

they were evil…yes evil and sinister
they were here…they had the sword
they drew the first blood…
to make him repent for what he did
to make him say sorry for loving them…

here he was…surrounded
by them that he loved
by them he would die for
by them who he thought would die…for him
he knew these people…or so he had thought
now it was all over….they deserved what they got…
all was gone
the pain, the agony…all over
the screams turned into moans
and the moans died down….fading into the tequila sun…

he looked away…couldn’t see it anymore
he had given them pain…he liked the feeling…hated his own being
the people he used to call friends…he had killed them himself
he had made sure…that no one returns…
not afraid…worried that he might have to hurt them again

took the step forward and felt them all die….
he walked on the slush
of sweat, blood and gore…of his own men…his lieutenants, his sepoys…his men

there were tears…he could not believe it…in his eyes
his heart was full of pain
the pain of his own…the pain he had given them

he wanted to end it all
he wanted to go back…
he wanted to hold them all..to make them rest in his lap
to protect them from the hyenas…from the people…
from the world…

he never stopped
he heard someone call his name….but he never stopped
he could not…he would not

before he killed them all….he had killed someone else
he had killed himself
he had killed his sympathy
decapitated his love
gored his passion and mauled his care….he was a zombie now…

he did not go back
not again…not another Julius
not another pang of trust, of faith…he was dead now…a zombie…
no more…not again….no et tu Brute…not for him

he walked tall and proud
blood and sweat…he walked…tired yes….but a victor
no one will know the general now…he had killed him
he will walk now…with pride….with stealth…with just himself
The Zombie Soldier….will walk now

Abhijeet Basu
5th December 2006

I heard Me scream...

2006-11-23T04:27:00.000-08:00

Just around the corner
saw him there under the lamp post
sitting with his eyes closed and his fists too
wrapped in rags, with a bottle of sherry maybe
staring
staring into the sky, into oblivion
thinking perhaps

everyday, every moment
he sat there staring
in retrospect….
confused and tired
hungry and ill
sleepy and far…from home

he heard his own breath
being blown away
he heard his own being
being towed astray
behind a bike
like an empty beer can

our eyes met
or so it seemed for a moment
they were dark
tired and ill
tears dried but still visible
like channels on the dust caked face

oh yes….the face
the so very wrinkled face
covered with soot and dust
with tears maybe
and crumbles from an stale bread’s crust

the eyes knew it all
they have seen them rise and fall
those were haunting eyes
they bore through your very being and asked you
are you sure you wanna meet me?
are you blind or you just wanna beat me?

the eyes said….go home kid
I trust no one
you seem like too busy
to come here and hold my hand
you’re too busy
to crawl up and stand

the face knew it all
it screamed of pain
it laughed of disgust
but it was a very familiar one

he turned again and looked at me
I was just about to have pity
but then…I remembered
I knew him…..we had been friends
we had grown up together….years back

we had debated through nights
and I had always won
he never cared much
till I held him by the neck and beat the crap out of him
even then, he would come back and apologize

I waited for him to mould
to change the way he was and be a bit more bold
until that one day when he didn’t come back
he just went for a stroll
now I know why…with his backpack

I searched for him…days on end
but alas
he was gone…for good I thought
got tired of my beatings…felt sorry for the chap
I didn’t miss him anymore….
he didn’t deserve it
my girlfriend did….

sometimes yes
I thought about him
wished he was there
when I got married
when I had kids
when I got my first raise…but he was gone

and here he was
old and shaggy
looked like a beggar…smelt like one too
Oh Lord…good Lord!! Was this true?
I searched for him….eternity and beyond
and here he was….finally found

I wanted to hug him
gave a damn what people would think
I knew he was my best friend
and I knew I missed him
wanted to tell him I was sorry for all I did
that I wanted to go back home
and take him with me

we would live together again….brethrens
and I promise I would never even speak
‘cause I know now he was right
I know he wished good…maybe the only one
I wanted to take him home…my wife and kids are gone
they left me ‘cause they thought I was wrong
now I know....I was

I go to him and touch his shoulder
oh its so cold!
I want him to look and me and say
hey buddy! Wassup? I’m hungry…let’s go home.

I touch him and he slips….
I look around…frantic….anxious…scared…he’s not there
did I touch him?
or was it just the cold, damp air in my fists
I want him here, right now
I want to hold him and cry
I want to tell him that I will never let him go again
I want…..

people are staring…I give a damn
they are laughing now…I guess why
someone yells “Hey!! Nutter!!! Go get a bath you fleabag !!”
I look down….my bare feet stare back
my shirt…used to be white…is beige now…fluttering
I touch my lips, they feel like the scorched earth
I see my shadow under the lamp
there is a halo….can it be true?
hh no…not halo…that is a head full of hair….my head….my hair

I look around again….damn these kids
a stone brings a warm trickle on my face
I know its blood…my blood…I give a damn…
I want him with me
to hold me and to tell me its all right to be scared
to shoo away these kids and scold everyone who is laughing
I want to sleep….

I know who he was…
that was my soul….my very own being
Yes…my own conscience
hungry, poor, beaten and old
and he will never come back…or maybe he will…I cant wait any longer…but I have to
everything is dark now…dark and cold and mute
I don’t hear a thing

no wait!!
I hear a scream…far but its there…
a painful agony…….
I feel sleepy...and yet I hear it clear
can it be him calling? No…he stopped speaking a long time back

I hear it every day…can’t be a dream
I know now what it is….

I hear me scream………

Abhijeet Basu
23rd November 2006

Old mates

2006-11-22T20:10:00.000-08:00

Met an old friend yesterday. The entire thing became kinda nostalgic. We remembered the "Good ol' times" when we were learning and having fun.

It was such a gruelling experience for someone out of grad school to manage a team of experienced and very competent professionals. And these people used to teach us...of the ropes of life and job. And now....we are the ones that have experience....we lead the way. We teach the young ones about survival out there...about life and about professionalism.

I am in a good mood to write something today and the way this entry is coming up....I am not quite happy. I can write better. I can think better. I guess I just need to get a hold of my mind and think...think and decide how to articulate my thoughts into good content. So just keep watching this space...who knows....I may just come out with a page compelling you all to think.

And there it is...right there

2006-11-22T04:26:00.000-08:00

Almost heavens...he said
Life is old there alright and I am just too nai've to judge or comment upon that...but if this is what Denver felt like when he wrote the song....kudos...wrote it with tears...

Why is it that after achieving everything life has to offer you....you want to go back and have some peace? I mean...this is what we all work for right? Safe and healthy parents, a lovely wife, awesome juniors and greatest friends and the wait for a lovely daughter or son to call you Dadda or whatever you want him/her to call you.

Then why is it that something is always missing? Why is it that the world suddenly turns mute....and all you hear is your own blood gushing through the veins near your eardrum? As if like you just heard a bomb explode...meters away.

Suddenly....nothing else matters....but to go home. Yes...home...

A place where there are people who hate you, love you, pamper you, scold you and above all miss you. The point is...all those emotions are real. Yeah...R.E.A.L...They cry when you are sad, they scream when you are happy.....They wait for you when you are not there....

Guess I am bit blue right now. Damn! thats it... I am blue! I wanna run away where no one can ever see me. I wanna run back to my home. Yes....home....right there...around the corner....no no...don't look on the street. I mean the corner of life...just there you'll find home...a place to sleep and die....

Just there..around the corner...yes....just there...